I felt compelled to ask this woman that question today. She's the sort of person that rarely has anything positive to say. She spends most of her conversation time ponificating about how grand her life is, even though her requirements for friendship and happiness are so stringent she could probably make satan sad...
I just asked... simple question...
she took a moment before responding...
"I am greatly loved by my family."
"Ummm, yeah, but who would cry for you at your funeral?"
"Why THEY would, naturally!"
"You sure about that?"
I moved on to a different conversation with another person and was laughing about something more pleasant when she blurted out,
"Not only would my family cry for me, I have lot of friends and acquaintances that love me too. They'd all cry for me."
"You don't believe me, do you?"
"I have no choice but to beleive you. I think maybe you don't believe you."
Naturally, she balked. Oh well.
Who will cry for you at your funeral? Who on this planet, loves you enough, has been tolerant of "you" to such a degree, that they will find themselves overwhelmed with grief at your passing?
Now, I'm not talking about family, who are kinda obligated to be upset... but the people you have allowed into your life; the people you have voluntarily opened up your heart to.
I bowl once a week with some coworkers. As I sat last wednesday, watching people act a complete ass, laughing and enjoying each others company, I considered our relationship....
would these people cry at my funeral? Have I given them any reason to give a damn about me? What sort of impact have I had on them? Yes, I'm the "go to" person...or so it seems. Right, I know my stuff. Sure, I can handle responsibility. But, what do they see in me? What have I shared with them? Should they give a damn about me when I die?
And then there are those I HAVE let in. The 2 or 3 people I consider my closest friends. Yes, they will cry. What we have shared with each other is precious. Not speaking at least once a week is hard enough on us...if only for a moment...
"What chu doin'?"
"Nuttin, what chu doin'?"
Who will cry for you at your funeral? Who will miss you? Why will they miss you? What have you given them that they know they'll never get from anyone else once you are gone?
I need to write my eulogy. Peace.
Labels: spiritual musings