The Synergistic Pen

where did the year go?
why don't I give a damn about Christmas anymore?
why do I feel the need to be nice to total strangers?
where is my remote?
what will I get my Masters Degree in?
why does the FOP keep calling when I specifically requested to be taken off their phone list?
will the Colts go to the Superbowl?
will my son become a successful animator and writer?
will his sister help raise the standard in kindergarten classes one day?
will i convince the ole man that retiring to a nice warm island really is a good idea?

I wonder how watered down the health care bill will be when it comes out of the senate?
why on earth did tiger woods marry a clubber?
will he stay married to the clubber?
why do women make poor choices concerning men and then get mad at the men for being just the idiots they are?
why do men who claim they want to be men insist upon hooking up with women who don't have any idea how to be more than girls?
what will I get my husband for his birthday?

what color should I paint this bedroom?
where can I find some vintag chains locally?
wonder if macy's does the christmas windows downtown like marshall field's used to? (not going to see, thank you very much)
where is OUR snow?
glad we don't have snow, but ready for it just the same.
talking crazy about snow, what on earth am I thinking?

I hope I can find some really good deals on cable knit sweaters after Christmas.
I hope peace, even if only temporary, comes to the middle east... soon
I pray for all who suffer with illness and pain.
I pray for education reform.
I wish I had better organizational skills.
I wish I wasn't addicted to facebook.

I'm happy.
I'm loving my job.
I'm so totally in love.
I'm mindnumbing proud of my children (back pat)
I love my cat and want another one...will devise a plan to make this happen.

I will no longer react to negativity, jealousy or ignorance
I will smile in the face of stupidity and tell it to drop dead please.
I will finish the novel. I will
I will make jewelry until my fingers bleed. (not a major leap)
I will take more trips.

I will appreciate my genuine friendships.
I will nuture new friendships.
I will (unfornuately) dismiss all (including family) who show no self love and therefore try to manipulate my love
I will continue to look to God
I will always recognize who I am.
I will never forget who I once was.
I will grow and become who God wants me to be.

I will write more.
I will listen more
I will talk less.
I will think harder.
I will create.
I will inspire.
I will encourage.
I will heal.
I will nuture.
I will love.
I will allow others to love me.
I will make people say.."Damn girl!"

sigh... yeah.

I was raised during the sixties and came of age in the late 70s. My parents were married to each other, well educated, and gainfully employed. We didn't get a colored television until 1972. I didn't have a 10 speed bike until 1976. Our parents sacrificed to send us to a private, catholic high school and my sisters and I are now college graduates.

We lived in a nice 4 bedroom house on a quiet street in the Midwest. Between the three sisters, we were the "proud parents" of 3 cats, 2 dogs, 4 snakes, a praying mantis, and a pail full of worms. Our lives were "a wonder".

I mentioned all of this in passing one evening to a group of chatters who were complaining about the state of the black community and how it was "never" a good scene for black folks in America. After a moment of "cyber silence", one of them asked me if I was white. Another told me (yes, actually told me) I was a spoiled bitch. I laughed so loudly at the comments that my son cam into the room and chastised me for laughing at the computer screen, reminding me of the insanity of such behavior.

I asked them why my childhood and life seemed so strange and "not black" to them. Responses ranged from cus "black folk have never lived like that" to "because your parents were probably sell out, rich Negros" (my parent both grew up on dirt poor farm in the south during the depression and were in college during the early days of the moder civil rights movement." My parents weren't rich, I corrected happily. My mother, now a widow, still would consider herself wealthy, even though daddy made sure she would want for nothing before he left us to live with the ancestors.

Yet, the notion of black folk. from the country, moving to the big, bad city and "moving on up" apparently is something only seen on TV Land reruns for some of my people. Where are all the people like me, who came for 2 parent, 2 income, paid off mortgage, decent credit rating families? Am I an anomaly? Should I be concerned about this?

Whatever happened to the concept of "yes, you too can be more than a kid form the projects?" If you are a kid from the projects who rose above your circumstances, why on earth are you so hard on folk who didn't live in the projects?

I love the way folk badmouth the "chocolate cities" in America, either not knowing or forgetting the glory days of these communities and that this is where all the "uppity" Negros (as we are tacitly referred as" come from. There is an entire generation of "Negros" who now have risen above their circumstances and made a beeline to somewhere other than "home" and now pretend they never lived in the projects or were on welfare, or had to watch their backs as they walked home from the store or cried over the dead body of their drug addict cousin... and that THEY are now the "new negro"... and the rest of us, who never had that experience are "less" than them, because our lives weren't "hard".

Hard? You survived it... so was it really that hard? What about the ones who are still there, who didn't make it out? Why hate on me for having missed out on YOUR experience? Why forget those who did and are still living that experience? Why dismiss my contribution to the black experience because I am a 3rd generation college graduate and you're the first one in your family to see the ivy?

Has it become a different sort of "us vs them"? Needing to feel included in the bigger experience has created a group of "uppity Negros" who don't even realize they're uppity and who have completely forgotten who laid down for them to even be who they now pretend to be. They've left the ghetto...but the ghetto will never leave their consciousness. This is NOT a good thing.

I am a proud member of the "dying breed" of black folk. I know my root is long, strong and blood soaked. I never lived in a project or had to dodge bullets. My parent drove me nuts making me become more than them, even as they were a great deal more than their parents before them.

I didn't benefit form entitlements and scholarships cus I came from a single parent household or have a mother who never expected me to amount to anything. I have no chip on my shoulder. I have nothing to prove.

I am a dying breed of black folk.

We need to start a memorial fund. Holla at ya girl...

a member of the family.

Now, so you know, in my family, people express themselves in very interesting ways: hubby draws, so does that son of mine. My daughter does really interesting things with small children, and I turn a mean trick with wooden beads. Oh yeah, sometimes, I write stuff down and people say they like it. I have a couple of cousins who do amazing things with food. A few sing, some dance, others are musicians.

Well, other people in the family express themselves also. I'd like you to meet one of them.

This is my husband's neice, Khia... she's an educator, a poet and a publisher. Oh yeah, she's 29 years old.

Check her out... KhiaStone

ok... back to being brilliant with beads... amani na baraka rafikis...

but, I don't get it...

were things so bad for the previoius administration that anything and everything this administration says is like honey on the tongue?

I'm am probably one of the few African Americans on the planet that thinks the POTUS shouldn't have received the Nobel Peace Prize. Actually, he intimated so, himself, but this ain't about his thoughts on it, it about mine.

I remained cautiously optimistic throught the long, grueling campaign. I knew there would be moments where if he said the right thing, we'd all cheer and even when he said the wrong thing, we'd justify it by saying, well, its better than what John said. I also knew, and felt deeply in my heart, he's pretty green, and that, yes, green could be good, as long as SOMEONE in the joint wasn't as green as he was. He fixed that with most of his cabinet appointees... starting with ole girl Hilary. No problem.

When he was elected, yes, I drove through a lake effect blizzard in 12 degree weather to be witness to the historical inauguration. I was and continue to be happy for him in his successful career thus far... except for one tiny thing....

he really hasn't accomplished anything yet. Or, maybe I missed something.

So, when the announcement came trickling down to me via my favorite politics loving 8th grade student (this child will be such a politician one day, pray for him), I was a bit shocked. My initial response was, who nominated him, when and why?

So we looked up the Nobel Prize, and all that was involved in getting nominated and who could nominate and when nominations closed and when did the voting occur and whatnot. It began to make sense.

He was nominated right after the inauguration apparently... after that fabulous speech about everyone getting along and how we, as Americans know we're buttheads, but we're gonna fix that, if everyone else will admit that they're buttheads too. Yeah, great speech, remember, I was there, I heard it.

Except...(and I know, its only been 9 months), not a whole lot has happened "peace" wise... again, unless I missed something. (I have been extremely preoccupied lately, and there was my self imposed news blackout for the sake of sanity period in there)

Did he receive the prize for the glorious rhetoric of it all? Do people get awarded (rewarded) for rhetoric? (don't answer that, it was rhetorical...hahaha! *sorry*)

this is the letter that came out of the White House the morning of the announcement... does he feel he's earned this?

This morning, Michelle and I awoke to some surprising and humbling news. At 6 a.m., we received word that I'd been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for 2009.

To be honest, I do not feel that I deserve to be in the company of so many of the transformative figures who've been honored by this prize -- men and women who've inspired me and inspired the entire world through their courageous pursuit of peace. But I also know that throughout history the Nobel Peace Prize has not just been used to honor specific achievement; it's also been used as a means to give momentum to a set of causes.That is why I've said that I will accept this award as a call to action, a call for all nations and all peoples to confront the common challenges of the 21st century.

These challenges won't all be met during my presidency, or even my lifetime. But I know these challenges can be met so long as it's recognized that they will not be met by one person or one nation alone.This award -- and the call to action that comes with it -- does not belong simply to me or my administration; it belongs to all people around the world who have fought for justice and for peace.

And most of all, it belongs to you, the men and women of America, who have dared to hope and have worked so hard to make our world a little better.So today we humbly recommit to the important work that we've begun together. I'm grateful that you've stood with me thus far, and I'm honored to continue our vital work in the years to come.

Thank you,

President Barack Obama

I have three acquaintances, intelligent, educated women. We all met as teachers several years ago. We are all ambitious women, with plans for ourselves and goals that are attainable.I'm the only one that's married. With that said, its generally known and understood that I made choices early in my marriage that kept me from working on secondary and terminal degrees until recently. My acquaintances made choices that have included working on degrees... and not being married.Two of them are currently working on their PhDs in education... the third on finished her PhD in education a couple of years ago... and is now working on a SECOND PhD... why? "I love learning"...yeah, right.


I love mah girls... really, I do. I think it fabulous that they've done these amazing things. I ask them, so, Doctor... what you gonna do now?"get back to my classroom, of course."What???I wish I would go back to my middle school classroom with a PhD in my pocket.

Why did they REALLY get the terminal degree? Again, I love them, but I think it was because they have nothing else to occupy their time. Lots of wome with multiple degrees work hard at the career and the education in an attempt to fill their lives... No man, no children... no problem.. back to school I go.

I have a male friend with a PhD who attempted to explain it to me. He is a college professor and works with several women with terminal degrees and no personal obligations. He asked a few of them how they ended up where they are in their personal lives...

"They started out with the idea of establishing their careers and getting a bachelors and masters degree and then, they'd marry and start families. But, the men weren't there when they finished the masters so they went on back to school and got the PhD. Still no man, and no other goal other than "getting a man"... so off they go to college professorships and/or jobs they're overqualified for."