Feeling... Green

I am an African American woman of above average intelligence with 2 degrees, a husband, 2 children who have life goals and a mortgage.  I am, apparently, different.

I've had people who, based on comments I've made, have determined, in their minds, that I'm "not black".  I once commented on a forum that I didn't use a lot of salt in my food, that I liked to season my food with garlic and lemon pepper and other more exotic, flavorable things and that I hadn't use Lawry's Seasoned Salt in more than 15 years.  The response to this was: "who are you, and why are you pretending to be black?"

I was shocked, sorta.  In another discussion, I commented on my son going to Japan.  This went over like a lead balloon.  I've used my rather large vocabulary on people, told them what sorts of books I like to read and what I do on weekends that doesn't involve televisions or sporting events.  I am, according to these black people, different.

I've been considering this assessment of my nature by these total strangers.  I've decided, yes, I am different.  Not in the way some of them choose to make me different; not in a "you think you're on a different level from us" sort of way, or in a "you're an uppity bitch" sort of way, but in a "well, I suppose its true, there is classism in black america" sort of way. 

There is this sense out there in cyberland amongst my people that we should all be exactly alike because we all have African blood in our veins.  Well, this would be ok, if those who believe this, actually acknowledged the African blood in their veins.  Instead, it is this rather loud, self loathing bunch that spends every opportunity presented to it, to belittle any black person that has risen above "their level". 

Take "po Tiger".  "He was never really black anyway, he never acknowledged it, I don't feel sorry for him."
or "Crazy Bill Cosby". "That N-word as forgotten where he came from; how you gonna air OUR dirty laundry (mind you, noone noticed it was dirty til he mentioned it was) for all the world to see?"
or me... "why are you always talking about going back to school and your damned house and some dumb ish you read in a book?  You must be a republican, cus you NEVER defend "our" president." (I get that one after I remind them they didn't even know where their polling place was before November 4, 2008.)

I've been called elitist, uppity, wannabewhite, conservative and fake.  I've had my intelligence questioned, my level of spiritual understanding belittled, my desire to wear my hair naturally laughed at and my marital status argued over.  I am hated on the internet.  I love it.

When I first began interacting in cyberland, I recognized that I was an individual.  I also recognized that I was raised in an environment different than most, and that I was probably exposed to things in the world that others may not have been.  I knew right up front that I was an anomaly.  The thing I've found interesting is how others have made the assumption that everyone they encounter should be just like them.  Like attracts like, I know, however, the beauty of the internet is, you can find difference and embrace it.  Unless of course, you're so dysfunctional that difference is a shock to your system.

Oh well. I'm green. Its all good.  I have, admittedly, had quite enough of being told I'm green, however.  Anyone know where I can hang out where there are other green people?  Let  me know.  I'm sick of the "black" folk now.


SCobb said...

Hi Im Green,
What you are is blessed. Maybe you keep the wrong company. It seems that some blacks are not into different cultures. I, too have experienced some of those adventures, but I live in the hood and that keeps me grounded. Don't change who you are, enjoy your blessings and give the glory to God.