Why We Do What We Do... And Why We Should Stop Doing It...
0 comments Posted by C.S.Stone on 12/26/2008Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
~Marianne Williamson
I live in Gary, Indiana. When I tell people that, one of two comments invariably are tossed at me...Did you grow up with Michael Jackson?
or
Ah, the murder capital!
There used to be a time in my life when I would smile and pretend the comment wasn't made, only because, I'm not a big fan of redundancy, but lately, I've been getting angry about the comments...
the first one.... Michael Jackson...the Jacksons general...
Yes, the family is from G.I. Yes, they grew up in a small house over on Jackson Street around the way from Roosevelt High School. They don't live here anymore, they "owe" the city nothing (some entitlement wanting negros seem to think they do) and no, I am not jealous of their success (wth?)
the second one.... the murder capital...
at some point, people should learn basic statistics.... the city of Gary, Indiana, along with the other "top ten most dangerous places in america" are all statisical hot spots. there are about 90,000 residents within the city limits of Gary. As of today's date, there have been about 55 murders within the city limits. We're number 2 on the list right now... right behind New Orleans, population approximately 300,000 with more than 200 murders at the end of last year...
ummmmm... do you see an issue there?
anyway...
both comments have become a problem for me because I have found myself defending what amounts to self hatred in the conversations I have with people. There is usually an underlying theme of "why they forget us" and "you ain't special, you live in a crime zone" to some of the conversations.
The really sad thing is... I'm having these conversations with people who have never met a Jackson or been inside the city limits of Gary... or if they have, for no more than 15 minutes (per their own admission..."we were just passing through")
The Jackson thing is mindless chatter and I've become good at ignoring it... the murder capital thing is pissing me off...
why?
cus Black folk are the ones making the comments... as if where they live is paradise. Just the other day, as someone was reading an article of where to live or not live if you want to live (translation: white folk avoid these towns) the cities of Gary and Compton came up. There was someone in the group from Compton. He immediately attacked me for living in Gary.
"haha, and here you are acting so special and superior to people and you live in the #2 murder city in the country!"
I was confused. DUDE, YOU LIVE IN COMPTON... ITS #5 ON THE LIST!!!
now, I've been to Compton, it was a few years ago, yes, but I spent more than 15 minutes there, recognized the place for what it was and brought my black behind on back to G.I. Dude ain't never left Compton... and was full of commentary.
ok, I'm ranting. My point to all of this blathering is this: Why do we insult each other and find ways to bring each other to the low place we sometimes feel we're in as individuals and/or people. How does someone in Compton get angry because someone in Gary has some self love? and how does that person in Gary rise above the bullshit of the person in Compton with the self hate?
I just smile and know I live where I live because I CHOOSE to live there. I grew up here. Its a nice city; broke right now, corruption in government, no decent jobs for folk who need them, and its cold. But, its my hometown. I can leave my doors unlocked if I choose, and my kids never brought their bikes in during the summers while they were growing up. I only hear gunshots on New Year's Eve... though I hear the sirens at least once daily.
One day I'll retire and move somewhere else, somewhere warm, etc. The person in Compton is STUCK there... is that why they're angry about my joy?
I am powerful, I know it... he doesn't realize he's powerful. Where you live doesn't make you less powerful, what you do or don't do, what you say or don't say is what makes you more or less powerful.
When will we stop doing this to each other? When will being who we are enough for us? Why can't we just love ourselves?
NO MORE EXCUSES PEOPLE! That's what I tell my students. NO MORE EXCUSES!! Love yourself... you are so powerful, you are perfect in every way, you can do all things you choose to do...even live in Gary, Indiana.
sigh...
woo wee...
Labels: mah peoples..., random thoughts
So This Is Christmas.... (Happy Christmas, Merry New Year)
0 comments Posted by C.S.Stone on 12/25/2008
OK... so I had my almost adult children open their presents Christmas Eve so I wouldn't have to be disturbed Christmas Morning.... that worked out well, they sat up half the night playing with the new Wii...
So... this morning I laid in bed staring at the ceiling and considered the day....
Christmas... I've lived through quite a few of them, happily, sadly, indifferently...
Those who get "up" for the day have spend weeks now telling me I should "celebrate"...
naturally I ask, celebrate what?
"Why Jesus' birth of course!"
"Why?"
"What do you mean "why"?"
"Well, I celebrate the life and teachings of Jesus everyday...so, to simply celebrate his birthday seems so... anticlimatic..."
Silence...
No offense nice people reading this (does anyone ever read my stuff, I wonder... oh well) I haven't put up a christmas tree in 9 years now; I haven't showed up for advent services or religious events or pagaents or things of that sort for years....
I DID go to a "christmas party"... that was fun... I got drunk...danced and did some karoake...
I've endured multiple versions of the same 15 most popular Christmas songs of all times, watched all the cool animated shows I loved watching as a child and even sent my mother a Christmas card...
Yet, at the end of it all... I smiled at the quiet of my house, my life, my spiritual health this morning...I sat at a table with my father's two remaining siblings and laughed about Christmas' past, and hung out with cousins and their small children as they played with their new toys and games...
I watched my daughter make plans to "hang out" later in the evening... and my son catch his best friend who moved away last year up on the neighborhood news...
No stressed out, overindulgence in shopping malls.
No sending cards to people who don't even acknowledge my existence the rest of the year...
No phone calls to say Merry Christmas to people I'd normally only call to get information from... and nothing else...
It was nice...
I went over the details of how Jesus came into the world... again...
I listened to my Handel's Messiah CD... immediately followed by the annual listening of my Charlie Brown CD...
and now... I"m watching a Mythbusters Marathon on Discovery.
So, THIS is Christmas...
I like it...
Happy Christmas, Merry New Year everyone!
Labels: spiritual musings
First... thank you to all the total strangers in the cyberuniverse who donated to my classroom project on Donorschoose.org! My yearbook camera project was fully funded and I should be receiving my equipment sometime after the first of the year. My yearbook staff appreciates it!
Second... you may have noticed, I left the widge for Donors Choose up. I have colleages in my building, community and all over the country who have projects out there that need funding. Look through the site and if something catches your fancy... drop them a dime or two to help them out. Support our public schools and our children. They ALL need our help to be successful.
Third... I'M GOING TO WASHINGTON!!! My cousin insists upon going to the inaugral, so after phone calls, private chats, prayer and penny pinching, we found a place to lay our heads and will at least get to hang out on the Washington Mall January 20th! I'm so psyched!!! stay tuned...
A little bit more... I have spent the last month working on the "movie" from my husband and my trip to the caribbean... I'll be posting that (hopefull) in a separate post so that sometime in January or February, when cabin fever sets in, we can all sigh at the thought of it being warm... SOMEWHERE on this planet...
Lastly... I don't celebrate Christmas... but, on the off chance I get caught up in some stuff and don't get back to this place to say something mindless... Happy Holidays Humans... and the rest of you!!!
Labels: mah peoples..., random thoughts
ok... if you look above and to the right, I have added a widget that is, quite honestly, a shameless request for money.
I am a science teacher 4 hours of the day. I love it. But, the very last hour of the day, I treasure... I'm the yearbook sponsor. I work in a school that's been open now for only 4 years. We've never published a yearbook. THIS IS A BIG DEAL!!!!
Well, when I took on this endeavor with the Art Teacher and the 7 students who make up the staff, we began taking pictures with personal cameras. Which is cool... except when I forget to bring my camera to school!
So, I am requesting those in the universe who say they are all for being a benefit to public education. I need 4 digital cameras yall! Dang...
I found some nice ones, nice little Canons. The total price for them is about $640. I've had more than $300 donated so far. I only need $295 more to have the cameras purchased for us by Donorschoose.
If you feel this is a worthwhile charity, PLEASE donate to it. If you click on the title, you will be sent to a page that tells you all about me, my class, what we need, why we need it and how you can help us get it.
This request has been posted for a while...and there are only 9 more days in my posting time.
Please, I beg of you!!! Help my kids get their cameras so we can publish the greatest yearbook ever!!!
I thank you in advance for your donation!!
Labels: mah peoples...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
