Unless you've been under a rock or something for the past few weeks, you should know that today is Superbowl Sunday. I am an Indianapolis Colts fan, and my team is playing my husband's team (the New Orleans Saints) today.. This friendly rivalry has been the highlight of the season and as our daughter is proud to say, a true measure of how we much we love each other. I'm taking a moment from my preparations to do what I always do on Superbowl Sunday... panic.
I am a football fan. I've been a football fan for as long as I can remember. Saturday afternoons propped up in front of the television with my father or uncles, Sunday afternoons learning the minor details of the game. I love football.
This time last year, I muttered about how NEXT week would signal the end of the football season. Since the Pro Ball was moved to the week before the Superbowl this year, I realized this is it... the season is over tonight. I think I need to be put on suicide watch.
The really sad thing about the end of football season is there's 8 weeks before baseball season starts. The eight weeks in between are torture for me. Even with the winter olympics this year, I just don't know what to do with myself. I only like skiing, and not even that much. Hockey is out of the question, and basketball, ugh... tall, skinny people in baggy shorts shooting balls at baskets just doesn't move me.
So, the orgasmic high that is the Superbowl will end with a bang... tonight. After nearly 20 weeks of foreplay, teasing, moments of joy, tears, sadness, confusion, amusement, my annual affair with football is over. Tomorrow at school, I'll discuss the game with students and teachers and by Monday night, I'll be circled up in a ball in my bed wondering if I will survive. Its over; I can't stand it.
Although I'm not as big a fan of college ball as I am of pro ball, I will, if not otherwise occupied, watch the draft and at some point in July, I'll begin my flirtation with the sport again. Then, as always, I"ll be back here, the first weekend of February, suffering... interruptus.
Lord help me....
Labels: random thoughts
Labels: mah peoples..., random thoughts
Random thought #1: Men landed on the moon 40 years ago. I remember that. Damn.
Random thought #2: My 30th class reunion is in 7 weeks. I suppose I should go. Double Damn.
Random thought #3: I love the way God makes people stop and pay attention, don't you? Don't miss the total eclipse of the sun Wednesday, July 22nd.
Random thought #4: Speaking of July 22nd... happy 105th birthday granny... hope you and granpa and daddy and uncle and all the rest of yall are having fun in heaven...
Random thought #5: I look amazing for my age... thanks moms! (ok... vanity moment over)
Random thought #6: I am both nervous and excited about my new job I'm starting in August. Its been a minute since I've stepped out on faith and it all worked out well. This new adventure in education will take me someplace I need to go and I will be better for the experience I am sure...
Random thought # 7: When I get my student loans paid off, I do believe I'll work on my Masters. Just what will I major in?
Random thought #8: I need to write more. My head is about to burst.
Random thought #9: My jewelry is HOT... why aren't I excited about this?
Random thought #10: Mama C is gonna be ok!! yea team!!!
Random thought #11: I knew my second born child being a pleasure to raise was a smoke screen... give me strength Lord...
Random thought #12: Nice ass... wait... ok.. I'm ok... where was I?
Random thought #13: I need a new laptop... scratch that .. I WANT a new laptop...
Random thought #14: What recession?
Random thought #15: My bible study buddies and I are being lead "outside the gate"... I wonder what God REALLY wants of us out here in the wilderness?
Random thought #16: I want another cat... how can I convince hubby that 2 cats isn't any more work than one?
Random thought #17: Chocolate, cream and raspberry? on my living room walls? mmmmmm
Random thought #18: C has a dorm room to herself this year... will reiterate the importance of me not becoming a grandmother before my time...
Random thought #19: Reiterate same to J.
Random thought #20: Reiterate the importance of ending my fertile years without a hitch to both my doctor and husband...
Random thought #21: Write letter to congressman and senator concerning health care reform. Make it forceful and forthright...
Random thought #22: Take lawn chair to beach and sit there til the sun goes down...today.
Random thought #23: Smile at random people ...
Random thought #24: I think I hate my cousin... pray about that more.
Random thought #25: Plan October mental health weekend... I need it already...
Random thought #26: Write a letter to Pat Buchanan and ask him seriously, why he's so.. afraid.
Random thought #27: Drop a note on the WhiteHouse.org site just to say "good job so far, keep up the good job"
Random thought #28: Check into Facebook Addiction counselling...
Random thought #29: Finish the bracelet, will ya... and the choker too...
Random thought #30: I think I'll get my Masters in Sociology... what the hell...
Random thought #31: Stop and go make jewelry or something...
Random thought #32: Man I love vacation... so much time for randomness...
ok... I'm done... for now...
sigh... amani na baraka rafikis...
Labels: random thoughts
Why We Do What We Do... And Why We Should Stop Doing It...
0 comments Posted by C.S.Stone on 12/26/2008Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
~Marianne Williamson
I live in Gary, Indiana. When I tell people that, one of two comments invariably are tossed at me...Did you grow up with Michael Jackson?
or
Ah, the murder capital!
There used to be a time in my life when I would smile and pretend the comment wasn't made, only because, I'm not a big fan of redundancy, but lately, I've been getting angry about the comments...
the first one.... Michael Jackson...the Jacksons general...
Yes, the family is from G.I. Yes, they grew up in a small house over on Jackson Street around the way from Roosevelt High School. They don't live here anymore, they "owe" the city nothing (some entitlement wanting negros seem to think they do) and no, I am not jealous of their success (wth?)
the second one.... the murder capital...
at some point, people should learn basic statistics.... the city of Gary, Indiana, along with the other "top ten most dangerous places in america" are all statisical hot spots. there are about 90,000 residents within the city limits of Gary. As of today's date, there have been about 55 murders within the city limits. We're number 2 on the list right now... right behind New Orleans, population approximately 300,000 with more than 200 murders at the end of last year...
ummmmm... do you see an issue there?
anyway...
both comments have become a problem for me because I have found myself defending what amounts to self hatred in the conversations I have with people. There is usually an underlying theme of "why they forget us" and "you ain't special, you live in a crime zone" to some of the conversations.
The really sad thing is... I'm having these conversations with people who have never met a Jackson or been inside the city limits of Gary... or if they have, for no more than 15 minutes (per their own admission..."we were just passing through")
The Jackson thing is mindless chatter and I've become good at ignoring it... the murder capital thing is pissing me off...
why?
cus Black folk are the ones making the comments... as if where they live is paradise. Just the other day, as someone was reading an article of where to live or not live if you want to live (translation: white folk avoid these towns) the cities of Gary and Compton came up. There was someone in the group from Compton. He immediately attacked me for living in Gary.
"haha, and here you are acting so special and superior to people and you live in the #2 murder city in the country!"
I was confused. DUDE, YOU LIVE IN COMPTON... ITS #5 ON THE LIST!!!
now, I've been to Compton, it was a few years ago, yes, but I spent more than 15 minutes there, recognized the place for what it was and brought my black behind on back to G.I. Dude ain't never left Compton... and was full of commentary.
ok, I'm ranting. My point to all of this blathering is this: Why do we insult each other and find ways to bring each other to the low place we sometimes feel we're in as individuals and/or people. How does someone in Compton get angry because someone in Gary has some self love? and how does that person in Gary rise above the bullshit of the person in Compton with the self hate?
I just smile and know I live where I live because I CHOOSE to live there. I grew up here. Its a nice city; broke right now, corruption in government, no decent jobs for folk who need them, and its cold. But, its my hometown. I can leave my doors unlocked if I choose, and my kids never brought their bikes in during the summers while they were growing up. I only hear gunshots on New Year's Eve... though I hear the sirens at least once daily.
One day I'll retire and move somewhere else, somewhere warm, etc. The person in Compton is STUCK there... is that why they're angry about my joy?
I am powerful, I know it... he doesn't realize he's powerful. Where you live doesn't make you less powerful, what you do or don't do, what you say or don't say is what makes you more or less powerful.
When will we stop doing this to each other? When will being who we are enough for us? Why can't we just love ourselves?
NO MORE EXCUSES PEOPLE! That's what I tell my students. NO MORE EXCUSES!! Love yourself... you are so powerful, you are perfect in every way, you can do all things you choose to do...even live in Gary, Indiana.
sigh...
woo wee...
Labels: mah peoples..., random thoughts
First... thank you to all the total strangers in the cyberuniverse who donated to my classroom project on Donorschoose.org! My yearbook camera project was fully funded and I should be receiving my equipment sometime after the first of the year. My yearbook staff appreciates it!
Second... you may have noticed, I left the widge for Donors Choose up. I have colleages in my building, community and all over the country who have projects out there that need funding. Look through the site and if something catches your fancy... drop them a dime or two to help them out. Support our public schools and our children. They ALL need our help to be successful.
Third... I'M GOING TO WASHINGTON!!! My cousin insists upon going to the inaugral, so after phone calls, private chats, prayer and penny pinching, we found a place to lay our heads and will at least get to hang out on the Washington Mall January 20th! I'm so psyched!!! stay tuned...
A little bit more... I have spent the last month working on the "movie" from my husband and my trip to the caribbean... I'll be posting that (hopefull) in a separate post so that sometime in January or February, when cabin fever sets in, we can all sigh at the thought of it being warm... SOMEWHERE on this planet...
Lastly... I don't celebrate Christmas... but, on the off chance I get caught up in some stuff and don't get back to this place to say something mindless... Happy Holidays Humans... and the rest of you!!!
Labels: mah peoples..., random thoughts
I hate this time of year.
Sue me.
Sometime right after Columbus Day (yanno, the celebration of the man that got lost and became famous for it) I see it coming... "THE SEASON"... the time of year when all sense of purpose and reason goes marching out the front door, not to be seen again until sometime in mid February... just in time for Valentine's Day... when you can start it all up again....
I went to the grocery store today. I thought maybe I'd cook Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Hadn't done it in a while. Folk have been taking care of us since Mom moved to Florida so all I've ever had to do was get up, get dressed and organize my naps before showing up at someone's house to eat.
I arrived at my local food dispensary at 6:35 am. The parking lot was full. Not a good sign. I grabbed a basket and tried to ignore the enticing items in the "bargain" aisle you are forced to manuveur through before getting to produce. Ok, so I picked up a couple of bags of marshmellows and they had beringer's on sale. I'll need that...
I didn't make a list. I never make a list. People all around me had lists. I felt like the crazy lady without a list as I picked out green beans and turnip greens and potatoes and mushrooms. The onions were nice, so I got some. So were the bananas. Enough of this.
I wanted to have cornish hens this year, as we really aren't turkey people (another reason why I don't like this time of year, what's so damned special about that dry ass bird anyway?) They didn't have any. Nice capons tho. I got one and a lovely english roast for the red meat eaters. A bit of bacon (pork for cooking, turkey for eating) and I was outta the meat department.
The rest of the trip went uneventually and I turned the last aisle and headed for the registers. Everyone's baskets were so full, as if we were preparing what we felt was going to be the last decent thanksgiving dinner we'll have for a while... that was kinda scary. My bill was less than $200 and I wondered how I managed that. I packed it all up, smiled at the cashier, told her to pace herself the day was young and headed out...
The local Target has a wreath out front. I frowned at it and kept driving. Cabala's had a Santa with something that looked like a rifle in its hand. I shook my head and got on the expressway... I didn't want to see anymore.
Whatever happened to Thanksgiving? Wasn't this the holiday where you saw the cousins you hadn't seen all year and grandma and big daddy sat at the ends of the table and smiled at their fam? Wasn't this the holiday where lies about pilgrims and indians and survival and all that crap gets repeated ad nauseum? Isn't this the holiday when all the women in the room announce the diet plan they'll be starting on January 1st?
Our Thanksgiving is going to be quiet. The way I like holidays. I'll marinate the dead animal carcasses and cook the plant matter and pa will fix a lovely winter beverage for us all. The boy will regal us with stories from his weird, yet errily creative mind and daughter dear will keep checking her text messages and the clock...
Friday morning, I'll pretend I wasn't asked about going shopping and start making some jewelry or something therapeutic like that and I'll scream, like I do every Friday after Thanksgiving as the first Christmas tune makes its appearance on the radio.
If I weren't so busy trying to find a floor to crash on for the inauguration, I'd have time to plan my winter escape to wisconsin or something self indulgent like that...
damn my priorities!
I hate this time of year.
pray for me...
Labels: random thoughts
Ok, so, in the last 2 weeks, I've been out of the country, under the weather, and over the hill... lots of thoughts rambled through my mind during this time... and in one short burst (sort of like ejaculation)... here it is...well the stuff that won't get me arrested...
random thought #1: People in the Caribbean are so totally cool. I think I'm gonna pick an island and move... soon.
random thought #2: People in the Caribbean love Obama not because he's black, but because he's intelligent,capable, and represents US... why don't we see it that way?
random thought #3: Never take a cruise during a full moon; it rains more than you'd want it to...
random thought #4: San Juan needs more rain shelters.
random thought #5: Air Conditioning and wet clothing don't mix.
random thought #6: Is that snow on the ground at O'Hare? Nooooooooooooooooooooo! (sniff)
random thought #7: It feels good to show off your tan at work. Just smile and keep walking.
random thought #8 My students missed me! They really missed me!
random thought #9: Viruses can't be cured, they must run their course (repeat three times as you swallow the nyquil)
random thought #10: Nyquil haze is .... wait, where am I again?
random thought #11 Yes, Virginia,I am older than I look....thanks
random thought #12 Damn, I'm old... damn damn damn
random thought #13 Birthdays are for children (takes a bite of ice cream birthday cake and smiles)
random thought #14 My nest is almost empty... oh god...
random thought #15 Maybe next fall, we'll go to Hawaii
random thought #16 What do I bitch about now that the campaign season is over?
random thought #17 wait, is thanksgiving NEXT week?!?
random thought #18 I just spent $23.50 to fill my gas tank; I need to celebrate that.
random thought #19 I need a hair cut.
random thought #20 I need to write.
random thought #21 I need a vacation... wait I just took one...
random thought #22 help....
Labels: random thoughts
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