The Synergistic Pen

Dear Governor Sanford:

It has come to my attention that you used poor judgement lately. I'm not sure what exactly was on your mind and why you thought you were getting away with, but I must say, I am disappointed.

Not only have you disgraced yourself in the face of your family and constituency, but also before the eyes of God.

Aren't you one of the guys about 16 years back that INSISTED that President Clinton should resign because of his trist with Monica? Dang man, at least Wild Bill stayed at work! Why did you leave the country dude? Wouldn't it have been easier to send for her? Is she that fabulous? Will she let you live with her now (cus I hope ole girl has sense enough to change the locks on the door)

What were you thinking? At the end of the day, its just sex. You can get that on just about any corner in America. Was it her conversation? her fake picture? the voice on the phone? Tell me please, so I can go out and twist up some man's head right quick!

No, seriously, I weep for you in this situation. You really got caught up and now, probably actually believe everyone will say, poor man, woo woo woo. NOT. As I discussed this with someone this morning, it was noted how you have always made a point of making sure everyone knows how great a Christian you are and how your "Christian Values" are the cornerstone of who you are as a man and a politician. The thing about being a child of God, though, dude is this: you don't even "get" what being a child of God is until you've suffered a bit...

wait, you're suffering now, I think you "get it" now, huh?

I want to thank you, as a fellow child of God for putting the wrong message out there in the universe, pushing more people away from Christ and the faith and forcing me to now spend at least the next 2 weeks listening to atheists, agnostics and free thinkers on the way out there tip, use YOU as the example of why Christianity sucks.

I hope things get better for you. I hope you really do "get it" now. I hope your wife is more forgiving than I'd probably be. I hope you can find a job, cus, damn dude, you gonna lose this one.

Have a scrumdillious day Governor Sanford, for real doe...